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This week I completed my Master’s in Business Administration. For those of you who don’t know some of the background on why I chose to go back to school after already being a lawyer for nearly six years you can read this post. Since completing the degree I can’t help but think about what I’m now expected to do.
If we’re just looking at Pinterest and Instagram, the message is pretty clear: Moms are expected to be Mom Bosses…which means we’re expected to do everything at the highest level possible all the time or be banished to some unholy realm where we receive zero likes and our children end up in a gang in uncoordinated outfits. You know what I’m talking about. Moms are now expected to have six-figure careers or their own business, homeschool, be Martha Stewart with a perfectly tidy and sterilely white home, be a master organizer, cook macronutrient balanced meals that respects each one of the dietary restrictions of each member of her family, lift weights like an olympic weightlifter while looking like a pilates instructor, spend time playing educational games with each of her children (none of which get screen time), be politically active (the correct political obviously), eat like you don’t care about health while caring about your health, never put anything artificial on your or your children’s bodies, keep the spark alive with your husband, get enough sleep, have multiple streams of income, volunteer, have the endurance of a marathon runner, bake cookies from scratch (gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free cookies of course), breastfeed but have perfect perky breasts forever, and never complain about any of it.
Forget that noise! You cannot do all those things well simultaneously. Sometimes the cake you bake from scratch is going to taste like garbage because your toddler kept distracting you while you were mixing the ingredients together. There are going to be times where you skip working out for a couple weeks because you’re irreversibly tired despite sleeping enough in the night. If you work, sometimes you’re going to be on top of the world and other times you’re going to be behind because little Jimmy has a cold he can’t shake. There will be days when you will choose between washing your hair or cleaning the living room…choosing your hair over the living room does not make you a failure it makes you a person. It’s okay if your house doesn’t look like something out of a home decorating magazine every single day. It’s a home, you live in it, the things in it aren’t there just to look at, they’re there to be used!
I don’t know who decided that women had to be superhuman but that’s not what we meant when we said we wanted equal opportunities. We weren’t saying we wanted to do everything at once. We just meant that we’d like be able to do some of the things some of the time. The fact that we get even close sometimes to accomplishing all the things shows just how capable we are. But we don’t need to do all the things. You don’t need to be a Mom Boss…being a Mom is hard enough!
So, what am I going to do now that I have a Master’s in Business Administration? I’m going to keep writing on this blog. I’m going to try to be the best Mom I can be, knowing that sometimes that means Disney marathons with my littlest cinephile. I’m going to prioritize my health and not worry about how it looks on the ‘gram (I don’t think I actually need to be able to lift a linebacker in order to be healthy). I’m going to try to be a considerate wife and continue working on my marriage because let’s face it having kids puts a whole new dynamic into being married. And I’ll figure out the rest as I go.
If I’ve learned anything from the trials and tribulations of my first career it’s this…even the best laid plans can sometimes really suck. So don’t be afraid to chuck it and the expectations you and society have made for you and do something different. You do not need to be like any of those insta-clones. Your house can have color, your pantry can be a mess, you can drive an American-made car, you can have stick straight hair, no side hustle, be atrocious in the kitchen, hate Starbucks, and STILL be an amazing person and Mom. Remember you did a middle part in Elementary school in 1994 so you don’t need to be following anyone’s trends or expectations of you. So go do Motherhood however it feels right for you. Being the Mom already makes you the BOSS.
Let me know in the comments if there’s been anything that’s made you feel like you’re not living up to modern expectations of motherhood? What bugs you the most? Snap back? Impeccable house? Butt-kicking career? This is a safe space Mamas..share with me.
** The dress I’m wearing in this post came in my latest Le Tote tote…I have a whole post about it if you don’t know how it works. But I love how Le Tote helps me expand my wardrobe without any of the commitment (and let’s me pretend I have some place fun to go while I’m still mostly holed up in my house). You can get your first tote from Le Tote on me when you use this link.**
And remember you’re the Mom so you’re the Boss,
No W account so couldn’t “Like” it, but I really liked your Mom Boss post. I found parallels to being a Dad Boss. You succinctly convey one’s need for being realistic versus altruistic regarding our goals and travails.