Getting Reacquainted With Your Body

When your body has changed in some kind of drastic way either following pregnancy, sudden weight fluctuations, or injury it can feel really uncomfortable to wear certain items of clothing. Typically, you want to shy away from anything that hugs the body. For months, it felt like I was wearing tents because I didn’t want anyone to see that my tummy wasn’t exactly flat anymore. I made sure everything I wore had sleeves because I thought my arms were huge. If I could have disappeared entirely I would have. Last week, it was Miami Music Week here in Miami and I decided I was going to go out and enjoy some music. I also decided I was going to dress like the other girls and show everyone what I got (after months of working out).

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On my 32nd birthday last month. Feeling awkward as ever.

I’m not going to lie, I was nervous. I ordered a new one piece from Pacsun. I got this fun white and yellow one piece in a size medium from LA Hearts, $49.95. A year or two ago ordering a size medium would have sent me into a tailspin because in my mind medium equaled big. Now that I have some perspective I realize that medium just means fits. I’m healthy right now and at a healthy weight. I’ve put on some additional muscle in my glutes which were already pretty shapely even when I was skinny so of course, I’m going to need a bigger size to accommodate my hips. I don’t care about size anymore, I just care that it fits.  And if it fits no one’s going to know it’s a size medium (unless they’re some weirdos looking at your clothing tags) they’re just going to know that you look good. And this one piece fit like a glove! It was so comfy and an absolute steal for the price. I wore it to the All Gone Pete Tong pool party and danced for hours without a hint of discomfort last Thursday.

One Piece at the Surfcomber
Wearing my LA Hearts one piece, paired with an old Forever21 faux suede high waisted shorts and sporting a Michael Kors fanny pack at the All Gone Pete Tong pool party at the Surfcomber Hotel.

I also bought myself a bodysuit from Express. I got myself the One Eleven Off the Shoulder Geometric Print Thong Bodysuit, also in a size medium, $34.95. I wore this bodysuit to the Crosstown Rebels Get Lost Miami party which was a really fun marathon of a party. The bodysuit was perfect and even though it is a thong it was really comfortable. Admittedly, I felt a little self-conscious at moments throughout the day wearing this but I think it was mostly because my tummy had been a little upset since the night before. So in my mind, I felt I looked huge. In reality, I got tons of compliments and Isaac thought I looked great. It’s interesting though how not feeling your best can change your perception of what you look like, even though you’re still down those 10lbs you’ve lost.

Bodysuit at Get Lost Miami
Wearing the Express Bodysuit paired with an old pair of Forever21 Drawstring linen shorts, Forever21 fanny pack, and Bumper combat boots.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely comfortable just yet but I’m getting there. I rejected tons of pictures that were taken of me in each of these outfits because I thought I looked bigger than I actually am. I was still scrutinizing the size of my arms, which is wild with how capable my arms are right now. But it’s a process and I’m still very much going through it. And it’s a process that’ll likely repeat itself several times during the course of my life. When I get pregnant, after I have my babies, my body will change and I’ll have to get used to a whole new thing.

I just want anyone reading this to know that the most important thing is that you feel good and the looking good will follow. And eventually, my triceps will submit to me. But seriously, keep doing the healthy things and everything will catch up; it’s not an overnight process. One day you’re gonna look at yourself (sooner than you think by the way) and you’re going to think ‘damn I look good’! Let me know in the comments if you’ve been having trouble getting reacquainted with your body as it’s changed? If you’re shying away from certain types of clothes because of it and what you’re doing to get yourself where you’d like to be.

xx,

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Author: realgraceshines

Just a writer stuck in a lawyer's body.

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