Wedding Anxiety: When You Don’t Like Fuss
I’ve kept my wedding plans very close to the vest and even though it’s actually turning out to be a very ambitious affair, I’ve rejected lots of traditional staples of the wedding planning process. You see, the thought of all these people staring at me just makes me really anxious. I want to get married. I have no doubts about that but the staring and the potential judging that makes me nervous.
It probably stems back to when I developed stage fright in my teens, before that I was quite the triple threat. I really enjoyed attention actually. I was a little fashionista in the making, I never balked at the opportunity to turn a class project in to a skit, and I would sing anywhere. But by the time I turned 15 I’d become acutely aware of how mean and judgmental people could be and I started retreating. I didn’t really think anything I did was good enough to put on display.
So here I am planning this wedding and people keep bombarding me with questions. The first couple of months I couldn’t deal with it and hid. Then I made a conscious decision, the groom and I would plan this wedding but we would plan it our way. I chose the following to keep my stress level down.
1. I chose my wedding dress by myself – I’m a very independent and private person by nature. I don’t like people fussing over me and I really hate people telling me how to dress. I made the conscious decision to look for my dress without the input of bridesmaids or my mother or anyone else. Preferring to wait until after I purchased the dress (which I love by the way) to show my closest ladies what I had chosen. All a panel of women giving their opinion about what I’m wearing would have felt like was judgment, so it wasn’t going to happen.
2. No engagement party – Impressing people on my wedding day is going to be enough work without having to plan a party just to let you know I’m engaged. I thought that’s what the Instagram post did. So we chose not to have one.
3. No make up artist – On my wedding day I want to look like myself. I know how to do my own face in a way that looks beautiful for me. Having a strange person touching my face on such an important day would just make me anxious, so I’m skipping it.
4. No bride gear – Aside from the wedding dress and a few white outfits, I haven’t purchased a single thing for myself that says bride on it. Firstly, I think it’s kind of wasteful to purchase so many things that you won’t ever use again. I try to be pretty mindful of the things I purchase and bring into my environment. Secondly, I don’t like fuss and a bride shirt elicits fuss; not to mention questions. (you can however find that Bride Travel Coffee Mug pictured about here )
5. Waiting to take the engagement pictures – At first I didn’t want to take engagement pictures at all. Of course, when I said that I was almost 10lbs heavier than I am right now (that’s right ~125 as I type). My sweetie has since convinced me and I’m at a spot where I wouldn’t mind looking at those pictures forever. We’ll see how that goes. If I have a freak out you guys will be updated.
Regardless of my quirks, I’m excited about my upcoming nuptials. More importantly, I’m really excited about our honeymoon where we’ve planned to go to Asheville, NC. I can’t wait for the hiking, culture, food, and the most adorable cabin you’ve ever seen!I’m marrying my best friend, so I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
Past brides and future brides, let me know if you had any anxieties as your wedding approached and what you did to deal with them in the comments. I’d love to hear your tips and tricks!